Born Across Ohio
Closed captioning is an equal opportunity offender when it comes to names, but it does seem particularly flummoxed by Latin-American players. It’s an understandable flaw — the systems are trying to turn every utterance into English text — but it’s pretty embarrassing to see some of baseball’s brightest young stars have their names butchered. On the other hand, we do get some inspired nonsense, like Four Hey About A Facil, which is…almost Spanish? But then Jack Morris’ words are turned into a stunning insult: Born Across Ohio. Shudder.