So Jim Leyland Wants The Perfect Lineup?

So, Jim Leyland went on a Clint Eastwood-at-the-RNC-level rant and fortunately for all of us, MLive Tigers reporter James Schmehl tweeted Leyland’s comments. Here is the full rant:

“I don’t mind the second-guessing thing, but I’ve never been in a place where they talk about the lineup so much. What they need to do is email you guys your lineups and then you guys can bring them in here to me. I’ll be sure to write that down and put that on my big card and that’s who I’ll play. They don’t know (bleep) (bleep) about the lineup. They have no idea who is nagging, who is hurt, who hits who, who doesn’t hit who. I guarantee there’s somebody out there that will want me to play (Avisail) Garcia everyday. Guaranteed. Guaranteed.”

OK Jim. Challenge accepted. If any reporter would like to hand this to Jim personally, that would be fantastic. Here’s my ideal Tigers lineup.

1. Austin Jackson (Duh)
2. Andy Dirks (Naturally)
3. Miguel Cabrera (So far, so good)
4. Prince Fielder (What’s not to like?)
5. Jack Bauer (Who better to give protection to the clean up guy than the man who spent EIGHT FULL DAYS saving the world?)
6. The ghost of Ty Cobb (Could probably hit better than Don Kelly right now. Doesn’t matter who’s pitching. Righty. Lefty. Pitches coming out of his butt. The ghost of Ty Cobb would be better than Don Kelly).
7. Adrian Brody (http://www.tubechop.com/watch/516860 … Need I say more?)
8. @PhilCokesBrain (Sure, we don’t know if he can actually hit, but at the very least his tweets would be entertaining.)
9. Avisail Garcia (Guaranteed)

So there you go, Jim. There’s my line up. You will win the central division title.

But seriously Jim, relax a little bit. You’re one game out of first place with a month left in the season and as far as we know, there is no beer and fried chicken on the way to the clubhouse. Let fans say what they want.

Oh, also, my name is H. Jose Bosch and I’ll be joining the Motor City Bengals staff. This is going to be a fun month.