Detroit Tigers: If the Tigers were Star Wars Characters

Unless you are completely unaware of social media, pop culture, and life-in-general, you know that a new Star Wars movie debuted last night. It seems like every single major corporation has connected to the epic franchise since nearly every commercial for cars, beer, and chewing gum has at least one character from the films and one song by John Williams. 

Jul 29, 2015; St. Petersburg, FL, USA; Detroit Tigers catcher James McCann (34) looks on in the dugout against the Tampa Bay Rays at Tropicana Field. Mandatory Credit: Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

The other day, I was listening to a popular sports radio host who complains more than he entertains. He was discussing how every single blogger has written the obligatory post connecting their favorite athletic team members to Star Wars characters. I realized that I had not yet done that, so the time is now. So, here we go…what Detroit Tiger players would be what Star Wars characters:

Luke Skywalker: The boy who learned about the Force and eventually turned his father from the Dark Side could only be played by one James McCann. He is the young leader who discovered his power quickly and has harnessed it for all that is good. Plus, they both have blonde hair. McCann has definitely bypassed the whiny, young Luke and has gone straight to being the confident, Jedi master. Like Skywalker, McCann has freed his team from the previous catcher who has now turned to the Southside.

Princess Leia: She is a strong woman who can use a weapon like the all of men. She looks like about as harmful as a field mouse, but her mental fortitude allows her to dominate a room. Her latent Jedi powers shine in the harshest conditions. The Tiger that has the most similarities to Leia (minus the female parts) is young Jose Iglesias. He looks so innocent on the outside, but he is full of Jedi moves that keep opponents on their toes. 

Oct 17, 2013; Detroit, MI, USA; Detroit Tigers shortstop Jose Iglesias (1) turns a double play over Boston Red Sox catcher David Ross (3) during the fourth inning in game five of the American League Championship Series baseball game at Comerica Park. Mandatory Credit: Rick Osentoski-USA TODAY Sports

Han Solo: Calm, cool, collected, and a little bit snarky defines the personality of this favorite character. He can talk his way out of any situation and he is pretty good with the ladies. He can shoot fast without missing a target (remember Greedo). There are two players that could vie for the role of Han Solo. The first is Justin Verlander. His fastball could knock out any green alien and have you seen his girlfriend? The other is Anibal Sanchez. The consistent armslot discombobulates even the best hitters. He also that same swagger as Solo, with the humor added in.

Chewbacca: No one messes with Chewbacca. He has the power to rip the arms off of any creature. Despite being difficult to understand verbally, he easily communicates with his body language. Chewy also has the ability to shoot his any weapon he can get his big paws on. He is fantastic companion and loyal to a fault. The Tiger who is most like Chewbacca is none other than Miguel Cabrera himself. The big man can rip the ball farther than anyone on the team. Have you listened to him? Fortunately for fans, Cabrera’s smile and body language is all that is needed to know what is going through his head. Everyone loves Chewbacca; the same goes for Miggy.

R2D2: The fun loving droid is able to solve nearly any problem. He is an expert at getting the team out of any jam using his variety of tools. Even though R2 cannot speak, he is able to express himself in his own unique way. The little droid is able to provide a bit of comic relief, even in the darkest moments. Alex Wilson is the team’s R2D2. He comes in to pitch when the cards are down and does his best to get the team out of a jam.

May 13, 2015; Detroit, MI, USA; Detroit Tigers relief pitcher Alex Wilson (30) pitches during the fourth inning against the Minnesota Twins at Comerica Park. Mandatory Credit: Tim Fuller-USA TODAY Sports

C3P0: His never-changing expression hides his depth. The golden droid can analyze a room, speak a multitude of languages, and solve plenty of problems. Since his facial expression never changes, his friends only know what he tells him. The Detroit Tigers only have one member of the team with the intellect and stoic facial features: the Skipper, Brad Ausmus. The golden boy rarely shows what he is feeling, but he has the intellect to analyze the situation and solve the problems.

Darth Vader: No one messes with Vader. He is the most powerful of all Jedis. Like Han Solo, he has an unmistakable swagger. He might say a whole lot, but when he speaks, everyone listens. Viewers learn that Anakin Skywalker was born from the Force, making him a natural with all of his skills. Victor Martinez is the team’s Darth Vader. Martinez is certainly not e-vile; but like Vader, no one messes with the man with the Force. Since Martinez can hit from both sides, he, too, knows how to use his power better than any other hitter on the team.

Yoda: Fail he does not. Powerful, compact, and efficient. Yoda is able to use his power for good. His looks are deceiving; the little Jedi is able to fight like the best of them and swing his lightsaber with ease. There is no try with Yoda, only do. Ian Kinsler is the team’s Yoda. Other than the big ears, short stature, and green skin, Kinsler and Yoda share many traits. Kinsler is always playing and he does not look like a guy who can do all that he does. He has earned the respect of his teammates and the opponents simply because he does not fail.

Next: Detroit Tigers vs. Chicago White Sox: The Rivalry Continues

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Quiet, unassuming, respectful, and humble. No one expects Obi-Wan to do what he does. Kenobi respects the Jedi order and he follows the rules of the organization. J.D. Martinez is the team’s Obi-Wan Kenobi. The quiet and unassuming right fielder surprised everyone with his ability. He knows the game, follows the rules, and delivers when needed. He is always learning from his experiences and those of his teammates.