The WWE Royal Rumble: Detroit Tigers Edition at Tiger Stadium

Detroit Tigers Entries 1 through 5

Detroit Tigers Entrant 1 – Justin Verlander

The future Hall of Fame player (hopefully in a Tigers cap) Verlander is a big name to get the crowd hyped as this kicks off. Verlander in this fantasy world is the ace member of the heel (bad guy) “Starting Five” alliance with fellow starters Mickey Lolich, Denny McLain, Jack Morris and Hal Newhouser.

Entrant 2 – “The Mechanical Man” Charlie Gehringer

Number 2 in at number 2. The Hall of Famer and member of the 1935 World Series title winning Tigers club gets a gigantic respect applause before he even steps in the ring.

The match kicks off and Gehringer surprises Verlander with some high-flying offense. Gehringer, always a quiet man, tears up at the chants of “You still got it!” from the Tiger Stadium faithful.

Entrant 3 – “Stormin” Norm Cash

“Stormin” Norm Cash enters at the three spot, which was his spot on the field as the first baseman for the Tigers in the 60s and early 70s.

Entrant 4 – Jack Morris

“Starting Five” stablemate of Verlander, Morris comes in and immediately helps JV out of trouble as Gehringer and Cash were trying to get him over the top rope in the corner. Verlander can take a breath as Morris delivers some big right hooks to knock down the other two men temporarily.

Entrant 5 – Curtis Granderson

“The Grandy Man”, as Yankees radio play-by-play commentator John Sterling would refer to him, is up next at number 5.

Detroit Tigers Entries 6 through 11

Entrant 6 – Denny McLain

A third member of the “Starting Five” alliance heads to the ring next, and the odds are even at three starting pitchers facing off with Gehringer, Cash and Granderson who have teamed up giving the circumstances. McLain is brash and yelling at the crowd on his way to the ring.

Entrant 7 – “Prince Hal” Newhouser

What are the odds?!?! A fourth member of the alliance heads into the ring next and the four on three advantage proves too much for the non alliance members as Newhouser is able to eliminate Norm Cash, followed by Verlander sending out former teammate Granderson. Gehringer puts up his fists and tries his best to stand tall, and after putting up a last ditch effort, McLain sends Gehringer packing.

Entrant 8 – Mickey Lolich

Lolich flaunts down to the ring, pretending he’s going to fight the four men in the ring, and they are laughing and literally rolling around in the ring. “Starting Five” now has full control of the matchup.

Justin Verlander grabs a mic and starts in on an in match promo. “I said it before and I’ll say it again. The “Starting Five” is the greatest alliance in wrestling history. Verlander, Lolich, McLain, Newhouser and Morris. Nobody entering this match from here on out stands a chance!”

Entrant 9 – Paws

The beloved Tigers mascot enters the fray. The “Starting Five” are howling at the threat, or lack thereof, that faces them now. Paws tries buddying up to the five starters, but is quickly thrown to the outside by McClain. Poor Paws.

Verlander picks up the mic again. “Just like that, folks! To quote the great Bill Goldberg, “Who’s next?”

Entrant 10 – Brandon Inge

Tigers fan (and New York radio all-time great Mike Francesa) favorite, Inge hits the ring and goes right for the top rope, landing a crossbody and knocking down all five starting pitchers. They recover quick, and Morris sends Inge out. The crowd boos mercilessly. No one can stop the “Starting Five”.

Entrant 11 – Kyle Sleeth

Yes, former first round, third overall starting pitcher Kyle Sleeth is entrant number 11. Sleeth of course never saw the major leagues, and Kyle, if you’re reading this, “I’m sorry, I love you.” Sleeth comes out decked in a Ric Flair style robe that reads “Top Prospect” across the back. Sleeth has a mic in hand. “Ladies and gentleman, it is I, the “Top Prospect” Kyle Sleeth! I am here to take my rightful place in the alliance of greatest Tigers pitchers. Suggested new alliance name – Six Man Rotation!”

Sleeth approaches the ring and climbs the steps to get in.

“Gentlemen, let’s go the distance!”

Sleeth reaches out his right hand, and after a brief huddle by the other men, Verlander nods and goes to shake Sleeth’s hand, but uses it to throw Sleeth into the ropes, clothes lining him out of the ring and sending him packing.